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[personal profile] kennymccormick

hateGuarddogs[HG] has begun pestering bootyInspector[BI]



HG: kenny why is everyone acting like a fucking bitch


HG: it is pissing me the fuck off


BI: lol dude how so


HG: it is mostly gregory


HG: he is all pissy about some shit and i do not know what


BI: about the shit where you died or like?


HG: just mostly fucking bullshit about everything


HG: but probablement that oui



HG: have you tried dying in your real self now not counting the dream one


BI: nah not yet


BI: I was dying in it just fine and waking up in the dreamself like, I dunno, diet heaven splenda replacement version of hell, but like


BI: I've been trying to do all these dumb time self realization zen quest things for my little planet dudes


HG: oui


HG: the quests are fucking bullshit but apparently they are important also


HG: at least according to my monster bitch


HG: at least i think that is what it meant


HG: i do not fucking know


BI: lol what'd she say ?


HG: that i was there too early or some bullshit and then she killed me


HG: pas problem not even a little effort


HG: from what equius said i thought she would be easy


HG: but apparently he is a lot stronger than me


HG: and was not a fucking idiot losing the element of surprise bringing a fucking light player in


BI: oh yeah lol isn't gregory like lighting up or shit


HG: well he was not in there but oui it is a fucking lightbulb it is funny as shit


BI: doing a whole edward cullen thing


BI: yeah so if it was too early dude


BI: you gonna level up and go back?


BI: I dunno why sir equius did his shit so early but dude seems hella tough so maybe that's why


BI: mhmmmmm mysteries~~


HG: well he is also a dumbass and does not know shit about his void shit also he is being sort of strange but


HG: that is probably just an alien thing or some shit


HG: i do not know


BI: yeah lol the whole alien shit is weird hahahahah


BI: like you're totally having a talk with one of them and it's all good and then bam they're doing some kind of space full on retard alien ET thing


HG: oui


HG: well i assume oui since he is pretty much the only one that i talk to


BI: man no dude you gotta


BI: they're all hilarious


BI: for real 100% good time to talk to hahahah


BI: weird as fuck tho


HG: maybe when i need some better stress relief or some shit hah


HG: i do not have anything to say to most of them though


HG: maybe i will talk to equius's friend


HG: the one he keeps talking about


HG: whichever one that is i do not keep track


BI: hahahah which one ?


HG: the one that is his best friend or whatever


HG: his m something? i do not remember


BI: monorail


BI: ?


HG: oh oui something like that


BI: the like sister thing


BI: sister best friend shit


BI: kinda


HG: oui that one


HG: anyway she sounds pretty okay from what he says


HG: she likes fucking shit up too so she cannot be that bad


BI: fuck yeah dude we were swapping some sweet shoujo cultural exchange


HG: but then he talked to gregory who i thought would have gotten along fine and they hate each other now or something


BI: hahaha no shit?


HG: oh oui? you talked to her? was she okay


HG: and oui it is annoying as hell that is another thing they were both bitching to me about


BI: lol


BI: watch out dude or trolldude's gonna want you to keep-them-from-fighting-date them both


HG: hah what


BI: no for real like


BI: this is first hand alienese


BI: when the trolls hate each other they get some dude to step between them and like, I dunno, shove them apart and it's dating


BI: hahahah


HG: quoi


HG: that is the dumbest shit


HG: so you are dating two people at the same time?


BI: lol right


BI: dude they date like 10 people at a time man


BI: all their different triangles or whatever the fuck


HG: fucking hell


HG: maybe if we did relationships like that i would actually want to have them hah


HG: but not really because they are of course fucking bullshit


BI: lol


BI: dude right fuckin


BI: would be stuck with the futa dickgirl aliens of my dreams and all they want is committment :,(


HG: commitment is the worst way to live life


HG: not worth it mon ami


BI: for real


BI: just like, damn, tragic up in here.


HG: well maybe you can get with one of the trolls and then just tell them that whoever else you are fucking is another one of your ten triangles or however it works


HG: j'sais pas


BI: hahahahahah


BI: dunno if it works like that man they seem like they wanna do the whole go steady thing before sex is on the table it's like


BI: goddamn middleschool shit here


HG: bullshit


BI: gonna just have to stick to human hookups looks like lol


HG: you will get bored with no girls though


HG: maybe you can just lie to the trolls to get with them and then when it gets pissed off enough let it kill you to make itself feel better hah


BI: hahahaha yeah maybe


BI: does that count as like hatedating tho dude ?


BI: don't wanna accidentally get into some kind of pigtail pulling shit here lol


HG: oh oui i forgot that they do that


HG: gregory had better watch his fucking ass or equius will want to hate date him hah


BI: hahahahahaha kinky > : D


HG: but actually i do not think so since equius told me i should just smash gregorys head in with a shovel


HG: fucking hell


HG: trolls are fucked up


BI: yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah


BI: man but they're like uhh


BI: shit you probably didn't watch star trek hahahah


HG: no


BI: ok yeah was gonna do a whole like, man they're aliens prime directive shit but


BI: yeah trolls are fucked, lol


HG: oui


HG: i half the time think i should just figure out a way to kill them all


HG: but then they are sometimes pretty fucking funny too so


HG: j'sais pas


BI: lol


BI: yeah I mean earth dudes get pretty fucked up too


BI: plus we can't even like


BI: get to them besides the dream bodies


BI: which is a no go now :-/


HG: oui


HG: fucking bullshit


HG: i cannot believe i fucking died again i do not know how you fucking put up with it


HG: and it made gregory all upset and shit again which was annoying as hell


BI: lol dude I bet


BI: people freak out when you die in front of them man that's like


BI: standard shit


HG: i do not


HG: okay not after the first few times at least


HG: and anyway gregory has seen me dead before


HG: at least


HG: maybe he has


HG: he has always been sort of vague about that


BI: yeah dude dunno, like, more normal shit


BI: skirty about dead people


BI: shrug~


HG: well whatever it is still stupid


HG: i have to kill this monster shit


HG: i am just pissed off at it now


HG: how close are you to yours


BI: man I'm taking my time


BI: hahahahahah


BI: so who knows lol I'm just trying to help my little planet bros here


HG: oui i guess that is the smart fucking thing to do


BI: lol probably not but like


BI: dunno I was always shit at video games anyway it's like oh shit sidequest?


BI: fuck yeah let's collect all the chinpokomons


HG: well i do not know apparently i went too fast


HG: even though that should be the fucking point


HG: but maybe you can get away with that sort of shit more since you are the time player or whatever


BI: yeah lol maybe I can just like


BI: do a whole back to the future thing and


BI: come back all leveled up


BI: back to the future 2 I guess like when doc brown has the souped up car


BI: that'd be sweet


BI: I dunno


BI: anyway kyle and stan wanted to have like a strategy meeting or shit, I dunno


BI: maybe we should be comparing notes or shit better lol


HG: oh oui?


HG: i sort of forgot that kyle was here


HG: well more like i forgot he was not here all along


HG: i do not know anything about anything


HG: except do not fucking die


BI: yeah lol well you've been busy and shit so it's all good


BI: but for real sitting down and all like


BI: here's the plan dudes


BI: isn't a bad idea


HG: oui probablement


HG: i will let gregory organize it


BI: yeah lol


HG: are we inviting cartman


BI: then maybe it won't turn into the kyle and eric fistfight hour instead hahahahah


BI: dunno dude like, prooobably should?


BI: dude's gonna just fuck shit up if we don't


HG: will he not anyway


HG: if it is not his plan he will not listen and will get us all killed


BI: lol yeah but then at least we know what hes' gonna go do to fuck shit up


HG: well


HG: oui


HG: TRUE


HG: well you should be the one to let him know then


HG: or i can


BI: lol whatever dude doesn't matter to me


BI: I'll do it if you wanna avoid him hahaha


HG: i do not care really


HG: i do not mind him too much


HG: not as much as gregory does or anyone else really


BI: lol well dude you're probably like the least pissed at him of anybody hahaha


BI: how'd that even happen


HG: why are you pissed off at him


HG: i have not really been paying attention to anyones bullshit since i was too busy fucking dying


BI: lol I'm not


BI: but I don't count I guess I'm not really pissed at anybody hahah


HG: oui


HG: you are not pissed at anyone and i am a little bit pissed at everyone


HG: both are good ways to be


BI: lol A+ we got our shit together, man


BI: hahaha


HG: hah oui


HG: it is nice to talk to someone not a fucking alien


HG: or gregory


BI: lol dude greg's not that bad he's totally trying, right ?


BI: but I guess everybody's kinda finally on the track to trying shit finally hahahah


BI: slow start but whatever


HG: i mean oui


HG: mostly i just talk about the game or am trying to explain bullshit about humans


HG: so it is nice for some normalness i guess


BI: hahahaha dude


HG: talking to gregory is fine naturellement but it is the game and the game and oh christophe are you okay and of course i am fucking fine


BI: come to LoCaG and getwasted with me and we'll do all kinds of normal shit


HG: oui


HG: when i find my way back to the surface of my planet


BI: sweeeeeet


HG: this is my quest bullshit it makes me stuck underground which is fine normally but i cannot dig out of these mazes


HG: or the whole fucking thing will collapse on me


HG: bullshit


HG: but oui


BI: lame


BI: so what you gotta get through the maze?


HG: and steal whatever is in it apparently it is really fucking bullshit


HG: stupide as hell


BI: dude you put your hand on the righthand wall


BI: that's how mazes work hahaha


HG: that does not help when half the maze is fucking


HG: void or whatever


HG: i do not know


HG: it is just not really there most of the time


BI: huhhhhh well


BI: if the wall's like


BI: voided out man


BI: just like


BI: steal the wall's void for yourself ?


BI: then it'll show up


BI: : D


BI: your powers are the worst dude for real


HG: huh


HG: i had not thought about that


HG: how the fuck do you steal nothing though oui that is fucking bullshit


BI: want it really hard?


BI: lol


HG: i want it hard always


HG: hah


HG: but oui maybe


HG: i will try that


BI: : )


HG: once i am done though oui weed and booze and all that shit


HG: and we will stay inside your house because fuck if i am looking at tits the whole fucking time


BI: hahahahah dude whatever


BI: they're not like giant disembodied fleshy bits lol


BI: just like hills and buildings and stuff that look boobish > : )


HG: still fucking disgusting


HG: if they were dicks that would be different


HG: but whatever you like, i guess


BI: lololol


BI: there's always the bigass bongs


BI: everybody likes those amirite


HG: well


HG: oui


HG: you cannot turn those down at least


HG: you are just lucky that your planet is useful


HG: and your aspect


HG: and everything


BI: yeah but dude I bet your shit'll be cool once you figure it out


HG: not as cool as time travel


HG: but whatever


HG: i will try at least


HG: the invisibleness is okay


BI: hells yeah dude


BI: sneaky as shit


HG: oui hah


HG: i will figure out how to spy on the trolls or some shit


BI: oh shit dude


BI: hellz yeah


HG: oui then we can figure out what to do with them


HG: kill them or not or whatever


BI: man whatever let's just like


BI: bring them back home to earth with us hahaha


BI: sit them in front of some barney the dinosaur


HG: hah


BI: heartwarming disney movies


BI: get their shit sorted lol


HG: oui they will be all fucking love and friendship and shit


BI: beautiful : ,)


BI: I bet they could totally be cool they just have shitty alien shit to figure out first lol


HG: oui i mwn


HG: mean*


HG: they are mostly okay sometimes


HG: when they are not being insane


HG: at least that is how equius is


HG: i am not sure about the others but that is probably true too


HG: i am still worried they would blow up fucking earth if we take them back with us though


BI: huhh yeah maybe


BI: dunno dude people've blown up earth like 20 times


BI: whatever


HG: oui including us now


HG: thanks to all this bullshit


BI: lol yeah guess so, damn


BI: that's like 3 times fuck dude I feel bad now, shit


HG: well at least this means we can probably fix it again


HG: if we do not fuck up


HG: so on the other hand probably not


BI: lol dude no way we're gonna


BI: ROCK THIS hells yea


BI: optimismm fuck yeah


HG: optimism is bullshit


HG: no fucking offence


BI: hahahahahah

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kennymccormick

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